now is it? Or there about?
I'll not lie, I thought about editing it a number of times before posting it. But as I've been trying to do with most things, I decided to let it stand as written. Leave us not worry about who Raven is for now, know only that she was someone of significance in my life for awhile.
So here for you, noble readers, is one of my rants, unfiltered.
" Raven made me feel alive for awhile, her light shed beams into dark places, but in time, it faded, and I was in a winter landscape again And so I walked into the wasteland again, and there was Zarhah, who brought light back, this morning I woke, and she messaged me before heading off to work, and it made my day, melted the ice a bit deeper
And I look at myself and the lives of those around me, and wonder Am I living a life to a tune others don't grasp? Is feeling complete with the partnership of another a fallacy,a sign of weakness? Or am I part of a order that lives a life brighter than most normal men?
I revel in emotion, worship at the altar of romance and the exhultation of love I wonder at my life, am I living something divine? Am I more in touch with the heartbeat of reality and life, is it wrong that I am never so strong and complete as when the love of another touches my life?
Or am I dead inside true, and walking among others who live in the light, and only take the warmth of their internal light to brighten my own?
The passion of music, of utter submission to the realms of Venus and Aphrodite Cupid is my avatar, my companion and completion His arrows are my own, I live by my heart, and my soul screams for things that shake the earth to its foundations
*shakes his head* I wonder, do I use others for what they feed in me, or do I share with them something others have lost
Nothing enrages me so much as people who have lived so long together, and submitted to comfort over the fire of true life, that they have become nothing more than live in companions, with occasional benefits
Nothing is so righteous, so gestalt, as the fire that those who are in love, and don't fear to be consumed by it, that they shed light on everyone around them, breaking through the banality that others allow themselves to succumb to
. I refuse to let myself die, to let that passion and angst of youth die It is THEN that we are alive, and strong, and in glorious rapture in the exhultation of simply being alive We resonate when we find the love of another who shines so deeply Am I wrong to want that, not just now, not just tomorrow, but for every moment of my life from here on out?
And How that relates to now
I look inside, and wonder at 'right' At 'right' at feeling this way over another so soon, and yet I know how it feels A simple word, nothing grandiose, just A simple contact in the morning
Looking forward to that someone showing up in the evening, and the simple pleasure of chatting with them And yet it makes me glow I have no answers for myself, I know only what I feel I do not like questioning it, and yet I wonder Should I?"
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