Good evening folks, its been a long time since I posted anything here, but I decided perhaps tonight I'd write another post. Its been hard to write, I've either been distracted, or playing my cards close to my chest. Old habits? Maybe.
First bit to report, Zahrah and I are doing fairly well, all things considered, though finding another job has been... Difficult. And my old habits of procrastination are setting in, making it difficult to get anything done. Including working on my soaps and such, trying really hard to overcome that. But most of the time I feel so damned tired.
It occured to me recently, that I desperately want to vanish into the quiet of my fantasies and dreams. Its so hard here in what you all call real life, and I find so little of meaning in it most days. Could just be my weariness talking, or just train of thought writing. Don't really know.
"No, I would not want to live in a world without dragons, as I would not want to live in a world without magic, for that is a world without mystery, and that is a world without faith. And that, I fear, for any reasoning, conscious being, would be the cruelest trick of all." --Drizzt Do'Urden, Forgotten Realms
I toss this into the blog because its how I feel about life in general. There are many things I believe in, because to not believe in them would put me in the most terrifying place I can imagine. I can only relate it to a faithful christian being in a world with no question that god does *NOT* exist. Imagine that emptiness, that utter vacancy where your once your faith had lived. That for me is a world without magic, without ghosts, without beasts that haunt the deep and crawl through darkest hours. What world could be so cold, and empty, as to lack the terrors and ecstacies that our ancient brethren believed in? In every land there were demons, monsters in the dark, and miracles in the forest.
I believe they still exist, and crawl through the dark where we cannot see them, they are the monsters in the alleys, the beasts in the sewers. When children fear the thing under the bed, to quote Terry Pratchet, its because they damn well know it exists.
But I digress... I'm tired tonight, bone and soul, and trying to find a little light. Doubtless I will find it as I always do, in the one place the sun always shines on my soul. The heart of my worlds magic, my beloved Zahrah.
So folks, I'll try to write more here, no guarantees though, life tends to take precedence over many things that otherwise matter to us.
Rest well.. May your dreams forever show you what your heart truly desires.
