Good day to you readers!
This weekend past has resulted in some rather interesting revelations that shouldn't be revelations, but are. In the depths of my mind, I felt a window open, a window between the person I was, and the person I am, and ultimately, the realization that I'm a bit of both. But we can see each other, this other and I, and we can begin finding our common ground. As I put it to my dearest love this weekend past, I feel like I can see the road home again, and the candle she's kept burning in the window. I'm a long way off, with a long way to go, but I can SEE the road again.
Its something of a relief, to realize that I am making progress, that I am healing, and bridging the gulf that was formed in me.
A lot of whats been going on with me is being over-whelmed by fears from my past, this is not news, I know that. But its whats been happening. I've even been over-powered by fears that I've simply never faced down, mostly insecurities and such. But I feel like I can see them now, I'm not being attacked in the dark. I can see my fears, and know where they come from and what they are, and this being found. I can defend myself against them, and build myself up stronger again. And find my simple joys and happiness.
There was a lot of that this weekend with my honey, simple fun, simple joys. The joy of waking up next to her, and just lying there with my arm around her while she sleeps. Of playing games together, of relaxing and having a good time together. And I learned a bit more about us, and her, and how she feels and thinks. She's so very careful about what she says to me and doesn't about her stresses where I'm concerned, because she doesn't want me to worry, because I'm *BETTER* when I'm not worrying. But sometimes, knowing whats in her head helps me to NOT worry.
Point being.. I'm feeling better, and a kind of feeling better that makes me think it may stick, and it will just be learning to climb from here on up.
1 comment:
The past, she is like a dark seductress who leads you to thoughts of mistrust or actions of mistrust. The past finesses itself into the present and sometimes you don’t even see the destruction is causes until its too late. Good show, recognizing and one day conquering the past. I realize it is a bit hard to completely let the past go but then who would you be without your past and the trials and tribulations you have accomplished. Though I have spoken often of letting the past go and not living in it…it can be hard. Baby Steps, is what it’s all about. Recognizing and conquering the issues.
I was reading earlier about your home based business. That sounds splendid!!
It is something you and your love can experiment with and have fun. What a great way to learn new things and perhaps expand and make some money. I will be excited to view the website.
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