Find your peace..

Find your peace..
In the mixing of the form,

the shaping of the mold,

the pouring of the wax.

 

In the bubbling sizzle,

the warming glow,

the rising odors,

of scents in the air.

 

Watch the candle burn,

as the creation take its shape,

Be lost in your own place,

as you bring form to idea.

 

Pass it to others,

and share with them the joy,

of the hours spent toiling,

amidst home and life.

 

The rain may fall outside,

but within the work goes on.

And you never mind the passing,

of moonlight into dawn.

 

For its forged by your own hands,

and shared throughout the winds,

and the joy found in the making,

is all that life need mean.

 

Test

Just testing my outgoing mail.

Work Based Thought of the day

This is a thought that only works for women (for reasons soon to be obvious):

 

Whenever a celebrity you think is hot turns out to be gay (provided its male and you swing that way), just remember.

 

This means no other girl will have him either. :)

This has been your 'Mr. Brightside' Moment.

Autumn Rains

Its rainy today, out here in the valley.  The mists clings to the ground like a blanket, cloaking everything in just a bit of magic and mystery.    Its been this way the last couple of days, each morning bringing either a blanket of fog, or the misty sheets of rain making the distant mountains fade into mere shadows.   In these times the valley is even more enclosing, more homelike.

 

Its on days like these that I am loathe to leave the valley, to head out to the more 'civilized' areas of the world.  Out into Mount Vernon, and Burlington.  Even Sedro Woolley is too close to the clash and clamour of the outside world on days like these.   Deep in the valley, days like these are silent, every sound muffled.  Even the crow of the roosters in the yard sound like distant.

 

On days like these, the world is far away.   And while I'm at work, surrounding by the harsh glare of florescent lights, the music of today that clashes so hard against the place my heart lives, I'm still a little more at peace inside.  I know that tonight, the mists will remain, and the silent green of the valley awaits me.

 

Home is the place your soul rests.

A day...

Yeah, today ain't the hottest day on the planet.   Its generally been kind of blah and unpleasant, I've discovered a bevy of earlier mistakes I made at work.  My only vindication is that of the 2 pages of errors, not all of them are mine, and in fact, some of them are my co-workers.  (She who rarely makes errors. :) )

 

Then I call home and discover that my darling Zahrah's new/used video card may have just bit the big one.   This is me being a pessimist, but it doesn't sound good.  

 

In short,   I'm vaguely bummed,  I'm a little stressed, and I wanna go home.. *sniffle*

 

One of lifes little ironies.

So I'm sitting here at work this morning, and for some reason this stray thought crosses my mind.

 

"Ya know, if that overzealous person hadn't shot Larry Flynt, he'd be dead by now."

 

Now, I'm a big supporter of Flynt and his work, not that I particularly care for his magazine, but the fact that he's one of the Porn gods gives him a special place in the warm cockles of my heart.  He's also one of the reasons we have such a free and flourishing adult entertainment industry.. Yes, this means I approve of him.  Say what ya like.

 

But the point of the matter.

 

His wife died of AIDS after he was shot, a bullet which, incidentally, removed his ability to engage in conjugal <sp?> relations with her.  (They weren't monogamous).   Because of this, he never contracted AIDS from her.  She's long since passed from the world, and Larrys alive and relatively well.

 

That bullet saved his life.. Congratulations dumbass.

 

This has been your random thought for the day.

The gods have listened..

Today, I learned that the gods *DO* occasionally listen to us puny mortals.

 

 

Behold, the Payday Avalanche..  Take a payday candy bar, dip it in chocolate...

 

Yum...

 

 

That is all.

I live.. No really.

    Hey folks, I know its been a long time since I've written here.  Life has been a combination of crazy busy, and too lazily good to.. well.. write about. :)   Things are happy here, a little more so every day.  This weekend past I wound up sick as a dog...  Now isn't that an interesting phrase?  When was the last time you saw a truely ill dog as a normal thing?  Anyway...

 

    I did however get to truly see a wonderful new side of Zahrah this weekend past as I was lying in a wretched fever and exhausted beyond all recognition.  She took wonderful care of me, offering every time I stirred in my sleep throughout the night to get up and get me anything I needed.  (In her sleep I might add, she only remembers asking once).

 

    And then when I had to stay home from work, no grief, no lamenting the loss of money, even briefly.  Just agreeing it was a good idea to help me rest and recover so I didn't get sicker.  She truly is a wonderful caretaker, and I'm lucky to have her.  As everyone (and I do mean everyone) who has met her who knew me previously has said.  I can't express to anyone how lucky I am.  I love her *SO* much, and its so easy to do.

 

    Anyway, I do need to end this here, but wanted t'let y'all know I'm still alive.

 

Ciao

A post to post the post a post!

Good day readers. Just wanted to post in and try to give some kind of explanation for that last post.

Life's been nutz the past year or so, and honestly, thats no excuse for a father to not stay in contact with his kids. But, thats what I did. Trying to stabilize and get some sense of order in my life, I failed to maintain contact with my children.

Thankfully children are remarkably forgiving, and I have reestablished contact with that part of my life, and I've no intention of ever letting that be out of my list of priorities again. Not that it ever was, but that would require far more explanation tonight than I really feel like going into.

Until then, that was the mystery..

Over and out.

Real Fear

Real fear is wondering if your children will ever want to see you again.
And knowing its noones fault but your own if they don't.

This is my thought for the day.
Explanation to come later.

*zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*

*lies in a pool of drool on his desk, snoring contentedly*

Ok ok.. No.. I'm awake, but I'd very much *LIKE* to be asleep. Apparently the weather change (YAY RAIN!) has made me sleepy. Seems like perfect napping weather, a cup of warm tea, my Turkish Flower curled up next to me, and just listening to the rain fall. Nice image, no?

Well, instead I'm at work. And ya know, that ain't so bad either. In the last few days I've come to like my co-workers a great deal, my supervisor is an amusing guy who reminds me in a very distant way of Tim Taylor, and my boss. *heh* He's a big guy, and he smiles and laughs alot. This bodes well for my future here. I'm also picking up the work fast and digging right in and enjoying the hell out of it. Yes, that makes me a touch of a geek, as its all data entry, but its *INTERESTING* data entry. I'm not lookin' at the same stuff all day, I start a project, finish a project, move on to the next project. And my inbox overfloweth. (This is not entirely typical, even my teammates have gasped when they saw the loads coming in)

On an amusing note, things I've been meaning to mention the past few days:

1. The Divine Secrets of the 'Yeah yeah' sisterhood. Nikki, my trainer, is cute in that 'friends annoying kid sister' kinda way, and one of her habits is to respond to any comment requiring a positive with an overly cheerful 'Yeah yeah!'. Which made me snicker quietly to myself the first couple of times I heard it, and when I mentioned it in passing, it turns out that its a habit she learned from her grandmother. Apparently, 'Nah nah' is also part of their vocabulary, and I'm not alone in finding this habit incredibly amusing. So apparently, they are in on some of the 'Divine Secrets of the Yeah Yeah Sisterhood' and her Grandmother is the headmistress. *shrugs* I don't expect you to laugh, it was funny being there.

2. The coolest, flowers.. EVER.. I believe are called 'Chocolate Cosmos'... Observe.

These little blaggards *SMELL* exactly like a rich chocolate cocoa. They are, in a word, divine. I will have some for my garden. Seriously, I mean, chocolate scented flowers? This goes right up there with beer.. "Beer is proof that god loves us and wants us to be happy." - Ben Franklin had it ALMOST right. "Chocolate Cosmos are proof..." Seriously folks.. Yum.. CHocolate.. Damn.. I think I'd eat them though. Which has potential.. I wonder A. If they're edible, and B. What they taste like. (Eyes the flowers on Nikki's desk with renewed interest)

3. A bit of a tirade on my part: Why the hell should people be expected to do more than they're paid to do?
Now, I'm playing the devil's advocate here for a minute, as I love learning new things and picking up new projects. So lets assume for a moment, that when you start a job, you get a job description. In that job description one finds a list of the things that is expected of you for that job. You get offered the job, and accept the job. Boom. You now know what you have to do.

Rant begins:
Now lets assume the following: One day, having completed everything on your list of things 'in your job description', you are approached by your employer noticing you lounging and generally enjoying reaping the rewards of a job well done. They suddenly want to know why you aren't working "Done." "Well can't you find something else to do?"

Correct me if I'm wrong but 'Everything in my job description has been completed, you want me to do more, pay me more' should be an acceptable answer to this. I agreed to do a particular set of tasks, for a particular wage. More tasks = more money in my mind. Seriously, is there anyone out there who can contest this as a purely logical conclusion?

No, this didn't happen to me, and no, I'm not SOLIDLY on the side of those who agree with the above. But I see its logic, and certainly don't think you should be punished for being efficient. Should be an encouragement to get all your work done quicker, neh? Me, like I said, I like learning new things, and so jump at the idea of new work once the old is done. But I don't think ANYONE should be expected to do more than they're paid to do, and what they're paid to do is included in their job description when they get hired on.

Rant ends.

4. Ok.. I'm catching up here, so bear with the verboseness. I'd like to throw a thank you to all those incompetents out there.. No really.. I love 'em. Hell, I've probably even *BEEN* them at one point or another. But seriously. I keep hearing: You're *SO* much faster to catch on than the last person was, they had to keep asking the same questions for the entire duration of their stay here and kept making the same mistakes over and over again.

So, I'm performing below what I consider acceptable standards, not moving *NEARLY* as fast as I think I should, and I find out the following: A. I'm exceeding production levels, and B. Obviously due to A, I'm doing better than the last one did during her entire stay here. What this means is, ultimately, I can perform below my own personal standards, and *STILL* be exceeding requirements. Everyone high-five the incompetents of the world for lowering the bar for the rest of us.

*thinks* I think I pretty much covered everything I wanted to talk about today... Though there's something itching at the back of my brain from earlier today that isn't quite coming forward. I'll post about that when I remember what the heck it is.

A beautiful morning.

Moved Here

That work thing..

Good morning campers!! Up and at 'em! Its a bright new da..

Oh Scupper it, just go back to sleep. I would've this morning.

But the reason I haven't is particularly good news! I started a job today work.. Well, never mind where I work, suffice to say you wouldn't want to hear from me. But I *AM* working, and that makes all the difference.

Good news - My co-workers are pretty decent people so far, bright and amusing with decent senses of humor.

I give myself a week before I manage to offend one of them. :-)

The work itself is pretty straightforward and simple thus far, nothin' too horrid, and contrary to the warnings I've been given, the phone is *NOT* ringing off the hook. Of course, this is only day 1.

Weird factors - I've never been paid once a month before, and thats going to take some adjustment.

Now, computer facilities.. ALl in all, pretty decent, got your email, your web stuff, able to get to my web emails...
The problem (not really) is that I only have access to web based messengers, and Yahoo has, yet again, gotten on my shit list in that department. Yahoo doesn't *HAVE* a web based messenger. So take heed!

If you want to talk to me between the hours of 12:30pm-1:30pm PST, when I get on for my bit of mid-day recreation, ye'd best be gettin' an MSN messenger, and adding aodhan_an_chalaidh@hotmail.com to it so's I can *TALK* to you!

But aside from that, things are going well...

Now I just need my fans and fountains. :) This desk is kinda dreary..

Oh, and the office music? Varies from horrible to.. well.. AC/DC's 'Hells Bells' is playing right now. *rocks out*

December 2005 - Be Silent

Be Silent

Be silent.
Choose to be silent.
Do not let words be your excuse
To forget who you are or ignore
The world around you.
Still the chatter
Of conflicting thoughts;
Things to do and places
To be.
Silence the television,
The radio,
The computer.
Turn off the lights,
The ringer on the phone,
And cover the clocks.
Be still.
Discover your soul
When everything else has become silent
And all that remains is the sound
Of rain falling on the roof.

-copyright by Zahrah, December 2005 (No More Illusions Blog Author)

4:20am.. Or... Is it Friday yet?

4:20am.....

There's only one good reason for being awake at 4:20am.. Ok.. Two if you're a pot smoker.. But essentially, one.

A woman..

So.

I'm awake at 4:20, and its not because of a woman, its because my house-guest perfunctorally decided that turning down my air-conditioner meant turning *OFF* my airconditioner (but leaving the fan running) so I woke up at 3:30am to waves of ungodly heat.

Ok.. It probably wasn't more than like 75 degrees, but thats completely unacceptable to someone used to sleeping in a meat locker.

And you know whats worse? Its 4:20 (4:23am now), and since I'm awake, I'm thinking about the fact that my lovely Zahrah isn't around for me to talk to. Nor is anyone else. Which leads to a very long stretch of time where I'm *BORED* senseless, and thinking about the fact that in oh... 32 hours or so she'll be here. Which is a pleasant thought, but makes my arms and heart all achy to be holding her.

Tell me why I thought it was a good idea to go back to Portland for a week? Oh yeah, thats right... So I could miss her!

Yes, that was the logic... No.. I don't have to make sense.. Sod off.

Ok ok.. Convaluted logic time. We were seriously kicking around the idea of moving in together to begin with. But as you doubtless understand, we were a little leary (just a little) because of how quickly things are moving. So, I decided, after 2 weeks of staying up there, I was going to go back to Portland while waiting for word on a job I applied for up there. Some time apart to think it through ya understand.

I was ready to come home Friday morning. Waking up without her next to me was all I needed to convince me home is where my Zahrah is.

So..

As we've been asking people all week.

Is it Friday yet?

Its special, Its beautiful, and its mine.. Or - "Building a Religion."

Ladies and gentleman of the court, I submit for your approval...

Life is a funny thing, and its full of its own twists and turns. Zahrah and I are moving in together. Call it fast, call it insane...

Call the hotline, we don't give a shit.

There are so many people out there that move slow, that worry over useless things, and that basically decide to waste the precious moments that life puts out there for you to enjoy.

I think that Mal (of Firefly fame) said it best.. " Someone's carrying a bullet for you right now, doesn't even know it. The trick is to die of old age before it finds you."

I only disagree on one point.. I intend to outrun that little fucker.. So folks, here it is, the beginning of what I firmly believe is the rest of my life. A life with this woman that is everything I've been looking for, and in many things, nothing like what I imagined. Its special, its beautiful, and its mine.

*cocks and loads his pistol*

Anyone who has any objections is welcome to step forward.. I've got a clip full of bullets, and an engraver.


Comfort Eagle - Cake
----------------------------------------------------------------------
We are building a religion,
We are building it bigger
We are widening the corridors and adding more lanes
We are building a religion.
A limited edition
We are now accepting callers for these pendant keychains
To resist it is useless,
It is useless to resist it
His cigerratte is burning but it never seems to ash
He is grooming his poodle
He is living comfort eagle
You can meet at his location but you'd better come with cash

Now his hat is on backwards. He can show you his tattoos
He is in the music buisness he is calling you "DUDE!"

Now today is tomorrow and tomorrow's today
And yesterday is weaving in and out
And the fluffy white lines that the airplane leaves behind
Are drifting right in front of the waning of the moon

He is handling the money. He's serving the food
He knows about your party. He is calling you "DUDE!"

Now, do you believe in the one big sign?
The double wide shine on the boot hills of your prime
Doesn't matter if you're skinny. Doesn't matter if you're fat.
You can dress up like a sultan in your onion-head hat

We are bulding a religion. We are making a brand
We're the only ones to turn to when your castles turn to sand
Take a bit of this apple, Mr. Corporate Events
Take a walk through the jungle of cardboard shedies and tents
Some people drink pepsi. Some people drink coke. (coke)
The wacky morning d.j. says democracy's a joke.

He says now, "Do you believe in the one big song?"
He's now accepting callers who would like to sing along
He says, "Do you believe in the one true edge?"
By fastening your saftey belts and stepping towards the ledge

He is handling the money. He is serving the food.
He is now accepting callers. He is calling me "DUDE!"

Do you believe in the one big sign?
The double wide shine on the boot hills of your prime.
There's no need to ask directions if you ever lose your mind
We're behind you. We're behind you.
And let us please remind you
We can send a car to find you
If you ever lose your way

We are bulding a religion...
We are bulding it bigger...
We are building............... a religion.......
A limited edition
We are now accepting callers for these beautiful pendant keychains

Waken to the Dream

This was passed on to me today from a friend, and the dream it refers to is the dream of the SCA that we all try to live.
I've never found words that so accurately describe what the SCA is to me, and what I'd have it be to my children.

We are all, dear readers, born out of our time.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Waken to the Dream

Within my arms you rest your head, swaddled in blankets tight
Wrapped safely up in dreams sweet song, sleep throughout this night
I’ll sing to you of days gone by, of days still yet unborn
For in your heart I see my hopes and joys become reborn

Will you be yourself a Promise, given by crowned king?
Devoting time and energy, a light to all you bring?
Walk proud in steps that Cailean walked, many have done so since
The days when Prince and Princess saw the power of innocence

Perhaps you’ll tread the garden path and become a silver Rose
As made by Irel and Rosalind whose beauty you’ve been bestowed
Your gentle fingers quick to pluck the burden from a friend
Will make light work for all involved, with smiles for duties end

Or maybe you will come to sing like lark in morning sun
And burning bright the Mullet’s light will show that you are young
Same King and Queen did first bestow to Timony this rank
To be thus called compatriot your mother’s voice you’ll thank.

Would you rather learn of battle, your name for combat known?
To stand and count yourself as one of young Brendon Swatko’s own?
King Hoegaarden, Chiara Queen, did recognize this skill
In ones so young they could not fight the Knights that they would kill.

Oh little one, who in my arms does sleep and worry nought
For you I tell the stories rich, the tales of battles fought
This game we play is all for you, your future and your dreams,
I promise to pass on to you, my love of what it means.

The Dream is yours to learn, embrace, and grow to always cherish,
To keep alive the things we share, and never let them perish,
For in the day that rises now, as you waken from your slumber,
Behold the Dream, of knights and Kings, who will count you in their number.

Written by Savya the Silent.

Applebee's and Porn

Good evening gentle readers..

Well, due to the insidiousness of Zahrah, I am now, once again, interred at her home in Concrete. :) I am here for the week, visiting in lieu of the various expenses that can be associated with travelling to eventually get to Coronation. (Ok, its a good excuse anyway.. So repeat it all with me.. "Aodhan is only there for a *WEEK* because its cheaper than travelling back and forth for Coronation." Right.. Now stop laughing.)

For those of you wondering about the title, Scribbles called Zahrah last night while we were on our way north from Portland. It just so happens she asked to talk to me right about the time we were passing an old adult novelty store in Chehalis that is so old, Abraham and his wives bought their marital aids there. It was the first shop set up by Cain after leaving Eden.. Really.. it was.

So I mention this to Scribbles (great first impression) because we were passing it. And then shortly thereafter pass an Applebees that was in Centralia.. Fairly recent addition, wasn't there when I lived there, and I was like. "Applebees? Porn and Applebees? Applebees IN MY TOWN? Sure.. Get a decent resteraunt AFTER I leave.."

And Applebees and Porn became my Blog post title for tonight.

I wish I had more to say, but at the moment I'm just kinda hanging around the house, waiting for Zahrah to get out of the shower. Well.. I guess there's ONE more thing. Nah, I think I'll let Zahrah post about that.

Waken to the Dream

This was passed on to me today from a friend, and the dream it refers to is the dream of the SCA that we all try to live.
I've never found words that so accurately describe what the SCA is to me, and what I'd have it be to my children.

We are all, dear readers, born out of our time.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Waken to the Dream

Within my arms you rest your head, swaddled in blankets tight
Wrapped safely up in dreams sweet song, sleep throughout this night
I’ll sing to you of days gone by, of days still yet unborn
For in your heart I see my hopes and joys become reborn

Will you be yourself a Promise, given by crowned king?
Devoting time and energy, a light to all you bring?
Walk proud in steps that Cailean walked, many have done so since
The days when Prince and Princess saw the power of innocence

Perhaps you’ll tread the garden path and become a silver Rose
As made by Irel and Rosalind whose beauty you’ve been bestowed
Your gentle fingers quick to pluck the burden from a friend
Will make light work for all involved, with smiles for duties end

Or maybe you will come to sing like lark in morning sun
And burning bright the Mullet’s light will show that you are young
Same King and Queen did first bestow to Timony this rank
To be thus called compatriot your mother’s voice you’ll thank.

Would you rather learn of battle, your name for combat known?
To stand and count yourself as one of young Brendon Swatko’s own?
King Hoegaarden, Chiara Queen, did recognize this skill
In ones so young they could not fight the Knights that they would kill.

Oh little one, who in my arms does sleep and worry nought
For you I tell the stories rich, the tales of battles fought
This game we play is all for you, your future and your dreams,
I promise to pass on to you, my love of what it means.

The Dream is yours to learn, embrace, and grow to always cherish,
To keep alive the things we share, and never let them perish,
For in the day that rises now, as you waken from your slumber,
Behold the Dream, of knights and Kings, who will count you in their number.

Written by Savya the Silent.

In dreams of shadow and light.

A dark hall of vibrant green, a clear night sky with stars shining like crystals in a velvet sea.
In the quiet, a song rises, a single voice, rising to the heavens, lanterns of flowered glass shimmering along a pathway of flickering shadow and light.

The wind moves quiet in the trees, and along the path, dimly lit by the candles glow are seated a gathering from all walks, delicate elves in diaphonous gowns and shirts of shimmering green, hobbits by the pathway in their best greens, yellows and browns, humans in all their varied multitude.

The song rises higher, permeating the air with the force of life and spirit. Quietly at first, behind the song, a steady beat of drums rise, not quick, but slow, like the steady beat of a peaceful heart, playing into the song.

From beyond the hill at the paths end torchlight can be seen, brightening the dark with the red-golden cast of living fire, and the drums rise, not so loud as to be overpowering, but still that steady beating, throbbing of lifes very pulse.

Over the edge of the rise can now be seen a pair of girls in silken silver and green gowns, dancing the path in slow spirals, holding baskets of woven flowers. As they come down the path they pause along the way, placing the wreaths upon the attendants heads, and whispering blessings to them. Behind them a pair of men in green and golden Caftans of the same material as those who came ahead, each of them carrying a basket of candles on their left arms, a lit candle in the hand of same.

They go behind the girls, again picking out members of the guests at random, handing them a candle, and as they light it asking that they let their light join with ours, a hundred quiet sparks of light against the heart of loves own glow.

As the men reach the halfway point, the bride and groom come over the ridge, both with their attendants. The bride is dress is adorned with green and silver threads, sparkling in the firelight, and her veil is made of flowers, the same that trim her gown and gossamer cloak. The groom is dressed in a style similar to the candle-bearers, but ever more elaborate, his brow also adorned with a wreath of flowers, and flowers trim his cloak as well.

Next to each stands their attendants, stalwart guardians, dressed in a shimmering silver and green garb, each bearing a sword.

"Each of us has in our lives, those friends we call close to us, who guard us as fiercely as they do their own kin, and are guarded in return. I am here today to say that I have seen this man, and found him worthy, and pass her from the protection of my blade unto his."

"There is a myth told among many, that a mans heart is shallow and fickle. Truer is that they are like a seed in winter, full of vibrant life beneath the white snow. But as the seed, when a light as bright as the sun comes, and melts away the snow, the seed will blossom into its fullest glory. But there are many false springs, and only our friends can see that it is indeed the last frost, and it is the true time of life at last. My friend has found his true spring, and I call her so. And as he takes her into his life I give my blessing, and lend my blade to his against any that would seek to strike that flower low."